Counsel for your season in the tomb.

21 02 2016

feel buriedWhen God has asked you to surrender to His will, and when you have sacrificed at the foot of the cross, you will come to places on the trail where you feel buried. Perhaps you there now.

Burial experiences are opportunities to draw near to Jesus and abide with Him in a way that only the Spirit can show you. You may be sad as a direct result of that which you sacrificed at the cross. In that case, your sadness is a natural and good outcome of that which pleases God. Try to see it from that perspective. You have had to give up something you cherished, and now you feel the sadness of loss.

You did not invent your emotions. God made you an emotional being when He formed you in your mother’s womb. Just as it is healthy for you to care for your body, it is healthy for you to acknowledge your God-given emotions. Grieve your losses. Articulate your frustrations to yourself, to close friends, and to God. Recognize and feel your anger, loneliness, impatience, and discouragement.

If you sacrificed something that was not pleasing to God but was very gratifying to you, there may be a strong pull to “uncrucify” it. You may need to reinforce the sacrifice for awhile. Bury what is dead, and keep it buried. Enlist friends to help you. Fill your time and life with other wholesome things. Ask God to draw you back into His Word, even though you may not feel up to it. Pray for God to confirm the sacrifice you have made. Keep praying your “nevertheless” prayer. Reiterate “into your hands I commit my spirit” – again.

I believe God uses delay in every disciple. We in the West need this because we are generally in a hurry. Rather than resist delay, try to enter into it as a time to intentionally experience abiding in Christ. Take time away to be with Jesus in solitude. Sit with Him in silence, mull over His words, enter into His experience in the tomb. Place yourself in stories where He came alongside people to sit with them, to touch them, or to cry with them. Prayerfully ask Him to show you how He wants to dwell more closely with you in this special time.

Resist the temptation to compare your experience with others. This is your unique journey. Your feelings of grief and loss will not be the same as others. You don’t know what others are experiencing privately.

This is not a time to accomplish very much, or even to learn a lot. Be still. Be present where you are. The Spirit of God will bring to mind what you need to consider. You don’t need to work hard in burial. Don’t squirm. Stay. Abide.

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Trudging through the mud of cancer treatment

21 02 2016

pablo (9)For my third example, I return to our difficult trip from Kenya and my wife’s cancer diagnosis. Before I do, allow me two caveats: One, I apologize that this section is depressing. These are hard stories, as are burial seasons. Two, I do not want my personal stories to give you the impression that my wife was burdensome. On the contrary, my marriage to Lyn was the best thing to happen to me. She was fun, adventurous, godly, loyal, and a deeply spiritual woman of God. Many times she held me up and kept me going through the difficulties. How I thank God for her!

In our shared burial-like experience following leukemia, we encountered many emotions – loss, confinement, waiting, grief, confusion and doubt. To be quite honest, I struggled to understand why God allowed this terrible disease to afflict my wife when it was she who had sacrificed more than me to go to Africa. To me, it was an adventure, unknown but much anticipated. For Lyn it was unknown and scary. She sacrificed to leave beloved family and friends behind for an undetermined number of years. So when, after ten years, Lyn was afflicted, I was broken and questioning the goodness of God. I could not stomach trite advice about faith and sovereignty. We merely trudged through the mud, one sludgy step at a time, for months which turned into years.

I am glad to say that through the chemo and bone marrow transplant and the years of recovery and regaining strength, Lyn and I had fellowship together with Christ in a precious way. With her example of amazing faith, and the encouragement of some brothers, I was enabled to hang on the God and abide in Christ. I did not curse God, even though I did not understand Him. Lyn and I experienced solitude, listening to God, transition and eventually hope. We reaffirmed daily and often hourly, our surrender and sacrifice. Because we had been at death’s portal, we had given up everything. We were holding nothing back from God. Our abiding together with Christ made our leukemia saga one of our most precious memories. In fact, the burial season following cancer gave birth to the truths presented in the book. For that I am truly grateful.

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Barren and buried, and God was unhurried

21 02 2016

2015-09-24 08.46.50You will often find that you are at one of the trail markers in several ways at the same time. (I know that isn’t good news, but you will get through). Let me illustrate this by adding another tomb-like scenario that was transpiring during those nine years in college and seminary.

My wife, Lyn, and I were newly married and had moved to another city to attend seminary. After a year of marriage, she had not conceived and it was becoming a concern to us. Our infertility, and the frustration that come with it, was exacerbated as several couples whom we had gotten to know started getting pregnant. When we would get an invitation to yet another baby shower, our hearts would feel the stab of disappointment.

For seven long years we lived with this daily longing. Our marriage was strained by the unrelenting sadness. We withdrew from some social activities because inevitably something was said, or a question was asked, that hurt our feelings. We got medical help, but still no pregnancy. My wife was positive that over the years she had experienced multiple conceptions but lost every one of them. Why was God not answering our prayer? People who don’t care about God at all seemed to be having more kids than they can handle. What did God have against us? As much as we sought to keep faith, we moved deeper into a spiritual desert.

After four years we initiated an adoption process. By this time I had graduated from seminary and was seeking a church to serve as their pastor. Since no opportunities were opening up to us, we finally decided to move back to our home state of California and wait there for God to act. Just at that time, an adoption agency called to ask if we would like to adopt a young boy that had emotional problems, but to do so we would have to stay in Dallas. We were torn. Why had God allowed our frustration to deepen into a crisis decision? We were confused, broke, and lonely – the only couple in our circle of friends that didn’t have kids yet. We were barren and buried. Why did the Author of time seem unable to hurry up?

What words or phrases describe what you have experienced through waiting?





After seminary, vocationally stuck and tuckered out

21 02 2016

Doc - Jan 30, 2016, 2-11 PM - p1

A personal burial-like experience:

My career change from architecture to vocational ministry definitely went through a burial season. I can describe it on two levels: situational and spiritual. The situational level involved persevering through nine years of education. Concurrently, I was adjusting to being newly married and a drawn out trial that emerged from that (which I will share with you below). And after graduating from seminary I could not find a combination of (a) a church that wanted me, and (b) a church I felt I was supposed to serve as their pastor. It was depressing to be held at a standstill after such a long wait.

That leads me to the fact that the deeper work of those nine years at the marker of abiding was of a spiritual sort. Ironically, during my years of preparation for ministry I lost a lot of confidence in myself. Early on I thought I had the capacity to be pretty awesome in ministry, but by the time I graduated I was worn out mentally and spiritually. The Bible had been a text book for me for so long that I rarely enjoyed it as spiritual food. Consequently, I felt less secure in myself and more desperate for God to help me make it. My brain was crammed with more head knowledge than I could use, but my heart needed to be restored back to a first love for Christ. Was I abiding in Christ? I was immersed in facts about Him, but not doing a very good job of staying with Him. Christ was with me, abiding in me, holding on to me, even though I needed to come back to Him in my spirit.

Have you been through a kind of spiritual desert?





Doubt can test the best of us

21 02 2016

Everyone wrestles with doubt.

The journey of John the Baptist along the Jesus way illustrates the power of doubt. Recall John’s confident announcement of his calling.

“I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matt. 3:11).

John experienced widespread ministry success. But not long afterwards, John entered a harsh burial-like experience — Herod’s prison. Doubt reared up within him. John sent two of his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another” (Matt. 11:3)? What John formerly knew for certain had begun to sink in the quagmire of doubt.

Seasons in the tomb test the best of us. We may even be tempted to question the very One to whom we surrendered. In such times, let the words of Paul be our food, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Gal. 6:9). Sometimes you may wonder if God has forgotten about you and your situation, that He does not care about your pain, and that God is being cruel to make you grieve and wait.

One thing you must grasp. Jesus’ story did not end in the tomb, and neither will yours. If He had stayed in the tomb, His message would not have been good news. Abide in Him, and stay expectant. When the time is right, he will take you by the hand and lead you out.

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