Barren and buried, and God was unhurried

21 02 2016

2015-09-24 08.46.50You will often find that you are at one of the trail markers in several ways at the same time. (I know that isn’t good news, but you will get through). Let me illustrate this by adding another tomb-like scenario that was transpiring during those nine years in college and seminary.

My wife, Lyn, and I were newly married and had moved to another city to attend seminary. After a year of marriage, she had not conceived and it was becoming a concern to us. Our infertility, and the frustration that come with it, was exacerbated as several couples whom we had gotten to know started getting pregnant. When we would get an invitation to yet another baby shower, our hearts would feel the stab of disappointment.

For seven long years we lived with this daily longing. Our marriage was strained by the unrelenting sadness. We withdrew from some social activities because inevitably something was said, or a question was asked, that hurt our feelings. We got medical help, but still no pregnancy. My wife was positive that over the years she had experienced multiple conceptions but lost every one of them. Why was God not answering our prayer? People who don’t care about God at all seemed to be having more kids than they can handle. What did God have against us? As much as we sought to keep faith, we moved deeper into a spiritual desert.

After four years we initiated an adoption process. By this time I had graduated from seminary and was seeking a church to serve as their pastor. Since no opportunities were opening up to us, we finally decided to move back to our home state of California and wait there for God to act. Just at that time, an adoption agency called to ask if we would like to adopt a young boy that had emotional problems, but to do so we would have to stay in Dallas. We were torn. Why had God allowed our frustration to deepen into a crisis decision? We were confused, broke, and lonely – the only couple in our circle of friends that didn’t have kids yet. We were barren and buried. Why did the Author of time seem unable to hurry up?

What words or phrases describe what you have experienced through waiting?



5 responses

5 12 2016
Robert Rasmussen

Yes, we all rejoiced when God gave you, and us, our Lauren’s. My heart still goes out to couples waiting for their child.

5 12 2016
Robert Rasmussen

Thanks Marti, It seems so long ago that we went through that time, yet the lessons are fresh and relevant for now.

5 12 2016
Scott Sterling

Glad you’re writing. We shared that struggle, and the Victory. The end of all our stories is the same. Faith, thankfulness with joy brings hope.

5 12 2016
Marti Fisher

Thankful you are writing…I still remember Lyn with her face covered at our girls graduation in 2000. She suffered and you suffered. Your valley was long and deep. I miss her and her fun bubbly chat that we had from time to time

6 03 2016
Infertility Led To A Display Of Jesus In More Than One Way. | Robert E

[…] have told our infertility story as far as our dilemma of financial and emotional brokenness. After graduating from seminary, my […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *